The Siren

 I walk amongst them dancing along the times and memories of halted growth, pretending or rather merely tolerating their presence. It never fails me to lose the patience and precisions of their ways with dealing. I become ill, faint, weakened by such efforts to maintain within the living and breathing of human society.

The creature I’ve become and the beast you know I truly am, can no longer be separated by these foolish wants and desires of normality.

and thoughts grow into fear of hate, fear of love, fear for the other.

I never am afraid of myself, by myself, although with another my terror has increased till I become quite ill, anxious, nervous, and the creeping instinct to swim never fails.

I ask myself to try and try and so I have but still remain so deep within soon many will be weary of the hardness some moments become. The slight word, action, thought, the slight hand of misfortune and  once again I am cold.

Thoughts of continuing perish in my head, with these afflictions I have buried within. I tell no one to what extent this hardness and ache has lasted. To what length this pain will cause to damn oneself for all eternity.

It is too great for one person, why must you do this all alone?

You say because it is also much too great for any other to endure.

They want to understand but slowly, certainly it eats them away to a hollow core and they become hard. Hard with the afflictions. With the afflictions of madness and memories. Then they too are lost and leave me once again.

And its starts over

And I tire, weary, beaten and…alone once again flee back to my deep sea.


© 2011 Crystalina A. Scales