Daymares

There are times when one may have a line of thoughts that vanishes as fast as they came and then you wonder if you truly ever thought it. Those types of thoughts our lovely even though fleeting. Because either good or bad they will never haunt you. Imagine the worst moments in life, the harsh words said, all the sadness and anger bunched into a burst of mental anguish. Now imagine not being able to control the flow or even to stop it.

This is how it feels every day and every night, a string of nightmares while your still awake. The obsession of failure, betrayal, lies, abuse, invading every second of your life. It is simple for people to say just think only of the positive, to a person who has no control. It's like a detached voice in your head that taunts and ridicules relentlessly. You search for anything to numb it and want it desperately to go away.

 Just because I have these thoughts does not mean I believe they are logical. I am very grateful for my life and many have it much worst than I. I will always be grateful with the good and the bad.

 But feeling of fear is brought on by this experience, many of us are afraid of what we can't control. Fear of judgement and isolation is what comes when we seek help and speak out. Humans can be very cruel, no matter how hard you try to be good or what is supposedly normal you will never appease the doctors that believe you need more drugs, or the mates that whisper when you turn away.


© 2014 Crystalina A. Scales

The Man Who Wept (Illustrated by: J.E. Larson)

I wrote this story in 2010 and had searched a long time for an illustrator I loved. When I met J.E. Larson and his Haunted Nonsense I knew I finally found the one that had the style and whimsical character I've been looking for. We originally wanted to do The Heart of Thorns first but I was so in love with the tale of the weeping man and the talented fox. It was a fun project and a long process, I look forward to doing it again.


Original story here The Man Who Wept




*Please do no use any of these images and/or writings without permission of the author or illustrator

The Black Mare (rough Draft)

The iron gates were not there before and the great animal behind it gave me chills. A black mare with a beautiful black mane was pressed against the iron bars, I stepped close to stroke her nose, she flinched a little by my touch. With her hot breath on my face it made a stream of fog in the air. I smiled staring into her murky eyes, it felt too real to be a dream. I wanted to ride her away from this place, away from the pain, just ride the both of us free. Alas the sturdy iron gates were locked tight, with a sigh I sat along the edge of my bed watching the questionable illusion dissipate.

The next day I told my doctor, he gave me an audible groan and scribbled in his black book, "I think we need to up your medication." I fiddled with my hands shaking my head, "But I'm fine, I don't want more meds, why can't you understand." He shifted in his chair looking at me above his glasses "Little girls seeing horse heads coming out of the walls is not fine" looking down he scribbled more into his notes and ripped off a prescription for whatever insane stuff I must take. Standing up I took the prescription out of his hand and stared at him coldy  "Little girls seeing head doctors is not fine", I muttered under my breath. I turned about and out of the office, walking my way back home wondering if It could all have been a dream.

That night I sat up waiting for the mare to return, but all I heard was the drunken stupor of my keeper. His bellowing voice chanting the old sailors tales, I lied down and cried wishing I could runaway. I could have ridden away , rode until I was sore, anything but here. In the sad realisation I knew I would never see that mare again, she left along with my freedom.


© 2012 Crystalina A. Scales

It's a Natural Thing

To be a tree with woodly limbs, I'd reach for the stars and light your way
When daylight breaks, I'd be your shade on a Hot summers day,
All I ask is you water my roots so I can stay,

Your animals may play and climb to the highest branch,
And listen to the wind blowing through my leaves,
Will sing a song near the twilight moon,
to ease you back into your dreams~



© 2012 Crystalina A. Scales

Swimming Eels

Instead of counting sheep , she counts the swimming eels to fall asleep



© 2012 Crystalina A. Scales

The Journal Of Dr. Rine (Rough Draft Sneak Preview)

 7 Oktober 1899
Midnight

It’s midnight and once again my eyes contain a bright awareness about them. Prodigious bloodshed, human carnage. They wonder why I don’t sleep well……the endless taunting. I write this with a false boldness for my hands shake and my head sweats. Something has provoked them, that something is what?.......or is changing...Evolution? is it of the same ?  Perhaps a method of euthanasia- easy death, but for whom? 

8 Oktober 1899

21:00

I've awoken and feel different, like something has filled me, taking place of my soul or perhaps just my mind has gone mad with this lack of sleep. I must try to close my eyes and rest again. 

 9 Oktober 1899
4:00

They surrounded the room, so many of them, it was more then I ever imagined. Their aurora seemed needful if not unstable.  The vision ...or dream was blurred with blobs of darkness seated in a circle around me. My sheets are tangled in what fright I had through the night. 

9 Oktober 1899 

7:00

I just have ran a bath to cool down my fears, the water soaking into my skin stimulated an immense pain. I've manage to glance in the mirror and find my back bloody with claw marks... and other queer markings. Where did these come from ? Perhaps I've done them in my sleep...thou it seems an area impossible to reach. I suppose these nights have given me more than just dreams and the times asleep are like a deadly trance.

© 2010 Crystalina Scales

The Snow Queen

~His kisses warm the cold that seeps into my heart, Alas I fear I may have frozen his.~






© 2010 Crystalina Scales